Growing up through the years, we always made appointments for Drs and dentists, for all of us on the same day. After my husband died, we just continued the same way. The boys were still with me in the same house, I didn't always have a car to use. Sometimes it was in the shop, or my oldest's, and other driver, was in the shop and he needed mine for work, or I was just between cars.
My
older son could only go at night because of his work schedule, and it
is harder for me to drive at night because the different roads have many many
different changes in lighting, making it even harder for older eyes that
don't adjust very fast to lighting changes these days. So we decided
that instead of trying to keep track of all the different appointments
we'd have, when we were doing a routine family visit, we would just do
them on the same day together and keep each other company in the waiting
rooms, the way we always did. It was also easier because it left the one car open for whoever
needed to do something on my son's day off.
It
seems that we all get stuck in "routines" and sometimes even forget
what started that routine in the first place. My sweet son felt almost
reluctant to move out and leave us ( but I do have a car right now) after so
long. And of course we know it is necessary for them to go off and form their own family routines now. And as many family's do, we will always be there for them if or when needed.
But we were for so long a "team
of three" since their father died, it was our "routine".
He worried about my younger
son, who does not drive. He tries to figure out how he is going to get
back forth between our houses, or who is going to pick him up for visits or things they do, or just to hang out (they must think I am 90). His bride said, "oh we'll just kidnap him and he can sleep on the couch over night." (they have a nice couch)
This
week we talked about when he moves out, he mused, how is he going to
pick us up for the chiropractor and get us all there on time. I
suggested that it didn't make sense for him to have to come all the way
over here to pick us up, but since I didn't see that well at night, but
do have a car now, I would make an earlier appointment for me and his
brother. His bride said, "And you can make it for the same day, and as
the days get longer you can make the appointments later so we can meet
there."
The time has come. They are moving out in a week. (Less actually) This will be their last weekend here with us. (But..his wife is going away in 2 weeks, and since we have the tv/internet/games connection he uses right now, and since he would just be alone anyway (he has to work), he tells me, he might as well come and stay here.)
So in just the same gradual way he weaned himself away when he was finished with nursing.....
He is letting me go slowly...
See you around the corner,
Janie
