Friday, February 1, 2013

Letting Me Go Slowly....

Growing up through the years, we always made appointments for Drs and dentists, for all of us on the same day.  After my husband died, we just continued the same way.  The boys were still with me in the same house, I didn't always have a car to use.  Sometimes it was in the shop, or my oldest's, and other driver, was in the shop and he needed mine for work, or I was just between cars.

My older son could only go at night because of his work schedule, and it is harder for me to drive at night because the different roads have many many different changes in lighting, making it even harder for older eyes that don't adjust very fast to lighting changes these days.  So we decided that instead of trying to keep track of all the different appointments we'd have, when we were doing a routine family visit, we would just do them on the same day together and keep each other company in the waiting rooms, the way we always did.  It was also easier because it left the one car open for whoever needed to do something on my son's day off. 

It seems that we all get stuck in "routines" and sometimes even forget what started that routine in the first place.  My sweet son felt almost reluctant to move out and leave us ( but I do have a car right now) after so long.  And of course we know it is necessary for them to go off and form their own family routines now.  And as many family's do, we will always be there for them if or when needed.

But we were for so long a "team of three" since their father died, it was our "routine". 
He worried about my younger son, who does not drive.  He tries to figure out how he is going to get back forth between our houses, or who is going to pick him up for visits or things they do, or just to hang out (they must think I am 90).  His bride said, "oh we'll just kidnap him and he can sleep on the couch over night." (they have a nice couch)

This week we talked about when he moves out, he mused, how is he going to pick us up for the chiropractor and get us all there on time.  I suggested that it didn't make sense for him to have to come all the way over here to pick us up, but since I didn't see that well at night, but do have a car now, I would make an earlier appointment for me and his brother.  His bride said, "And you can make it for the same day, and as the days get longer you can make the appointments later so we can meet there."

The time has come.  They are moving out in a week. (Less actually)  This will be their last weekend here with us.   (But..his wife is going away in 2 weeks, and since we have the tv/internet/games connection he uses right now, and since he would just be alone anyway (he has to work), he tells me, he might as well come and stay here.)

So in just the same gradual way he weaned himself away when he was finished with nursing.....

He is letting me go slowly... 

See you around the corner,



  1. Janie -

    My heart goes out to your family as you make this transition. Sounds like your new daughter in law is doing a great job of encouraging your son to keep his connections with you and his brother. Bravo for her!

    I'll be praying for you.

  2. Thanks Kristal. She is already part of the family..the daughter I never that's a good thing...

  3. You write so well! And yes, looks like you are into lots of things. We have some things in common too, I was reading that you garden...I just canned squash today and it was my first time.

    Sounds like you have raised very nice young men. It's great that you all banded together especially after losing loved ones. Writing is therapeutic...I can see why you miss it. You are so good at painting a picture verbally! I hope to keep in touch, whether you decide to continue blogging or not.

    Amy from SewsNBows